我的记事本

2011-02-24T16:45:00.002+08:00

在深夜里，我总是会想起你。

不知不觉的，眼泪就溜了下来。

我不知道这个选择是对还是错，

但愿上天能让我不后悔。

2009-08-12T23:54:00.002+08:00

Kinda hate to grow up.

I remember when i was young,

A simple yoyo would cheer me up when i am feeling down.

A Mac happy meal will really make me happy for the rest of the day.

A dollar a day will be enough for my daily allowance.

Only gotta worry for my homework and how to copy during spelling test.

But now,

If a yoyo is placed in front of me, I will throw it aside.

Even i have S$100 in my wallet, I will still feel that i am running out of cash.

I don't have to worry about my homework anymore,

But i have to worry about my daily expense and family most.

Right now, I finally realise why my mother would say its so fortunate to be a children.

How i wish to be forever young.

2009-05-09T01:45:00.004+08:00

To forget is just an interpretation. An immeasurable love's memories can never be wiped off. Time doesn't devour memories. It just slowly, painfully converts it into fragments of dream.

For now, sinking into a memory of one of the touches you stroked on me, i cannot remember the physical touch, but i can remember the delicacy of it.

When i tried to forget you, I had just thought of you again. Are you, are you thinking of me now, as my mind revolves with your image, again and again?

Before I met you, I wondered why all the lyrics in love songs were so exaggerated. Why do lyricists create such mushy and overemotional sentences? Why can't they just write a good melody without those melodramatic lyrics?

Before i fell in love with you, I thought romance novels were just so silly. Why would a person cry for another person for hours? How could a person wait for his lover for years?

Before we became couple, I thought romance movies were just so stupid. How could a person love another person so deeply that it became so obsession? How could one sacrifice so much, even to the extend of his own life for his lover?

When i realized I had fallen so deeply in love with you, I finally understood those songs, novels and movies are reflection of life.

Every single detail in life reflects you. Every MRT station i see, every winter melon drink i drank, every time i see that two dolls, every time i slept alone. But to forget you, what I have to do is not to remember you. Not to remember that we once quarrelled at YCK Mrt. Not to remember that we slept beside each other. Not to remember that we did almost everything together.

But everything is just so hard.

2009-04-23T02:12:00.001+08:00

My stupid "Bo Chap" attitude have made me landed up in this state.

2009-04-20T05:48:00.002+08:00

My life is turning better then before.

I am having a stable job.

I am in better terms with my family.

Went to have dinner with my family a few days ago.

It only happens once in a blue moon.

Then went to shop for awhile.

Mummy was so happy to see all the 3 of us together happily.

All the 3 of us wanted to get a dog.

But mummy disagree cause at the end of the day, she will be the one taking care of it! LOL!

So the 3 of us assure her that we will take turns to take care.

But she still don't want.

SAD SHIT!

I learnt how to enjoy when i am poor! LOL!

I am nothing but a poor man. :(

2009-04-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

When i was taking a train back to semb after work.

I saw a lady with 3 kids.

Two girls and one boy.

All 3 of them is very obedient

I was looking at them all the way.

The two girls were taking care of each other well.

I am looking forward to having a family! LOL!

2009-04-09T11:44:00.002+08:00

Going stable on my work.
Have to do some telemarketing every night after work to find more properties for myself.

Haven't been to hilltop for quite sometime.
Cause i didn't wanna go up there waste my time and money.
I have got a better aim in life.

There is 3 S which every guy must have.

Stability, Saving, Skill

I am aiming to have all this. Now for every dollar i spend, i will think if this dollar will help me bring back another dollar anot. Spend wisely. :)

2009-03-29T19:23:00.000+08:00

I was shocked when Ah jin called me yesterday telling me this bad news.
We had just lost a friend.
RIP Xavier.

2009-03-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

Was working halfway then Adrian's phone rang.

Reuben called and he was crying.

Adrian rushed home and asked why.

Reuben was complaining that he got a stomachache and he didn't wan to go to school.

Adrian knew that Reuben don't have a stomachache.

He asked why he don't wanna go to school.

Eventually, Reuben admitted that there is 3 boys bullying him in the school bus.

Adrian got the names of that 3 boys.

When the school bus came, Adrian went to open the door.

Asked for this 3 boys and scolded them.

I was happy for Reuben.

Cause he got a father who will stand up for him.

Now i can see the difference between family of 2 different background.

2009-03-25T15:49:00.001+08:00

Hey Guys!

I am inside my office rotting.

BORING!

2009-03-22T05:02:00.005+08:00

More shirts for work.
1 CK belt for work.
1 Gucci belt for normal occasion.
1 LV Wallet.
1 white leather shoes.
New handphone.
New PSP.
Sell those property on my hands now.
Pass my licences.
Clear all my debts.
Every Monday go smooth.
Every week earn big bucks.
Spend more time for family.

2009-03-21T06:59:00.002+08:00

Went to work and saw this lady named Angela.

She is a nice lady and Adrian wants me to tag along with her in future.

After work she bring us to Crystal Jade to eat.

Went to Yong Ren house to play mahjong with Li Han and a friend of hers.

I won $47 with just playing 20 cent 40 cent.

LOL! I Guess i am lucky.

Later going work again. :(

2009-03-20T04:54:00.002+08:00

It had been ages since i eat sushi buffet.
Had the urge to eat sushi when i wake up.
Went online and saw bear online.
Asked him if he wanna go he say he just had his lunch.
So i intend to go alone.
After i prepare, i saw chun leng online.
I asked him and he agreed.
the both of us ate around 25 colour plates, 4 Chawanmushi and 4 hand rolls.
Last time me and her won't be able to eat till so much der.
After our buffet session we go to smoke downstairs.
I threw my cig butt on the floor and there is two guy approached me.
FCUK!
He took out his wallet and show me his NEA pass.
I GOT FINED AGAIN!
Going to court on 5th May for this stupid thing.
Going court again!
Twice within 2 month.
12th March and 5th May.
FCUKING YEAR. FCUKING UNLUCKY!

God damn it.
I really need to do something about it.
FCUK IT

2009-03-18T02:32:00.003+08:00

Woke up early in the morning today for work.

Busy day. Only manage to get my BRUNCH at 4pm.

After everything, went back home to get the watch for Ling Wei which i bought a few days ago.

Its her 21st birthday.

Went The Cathy for a movie with Shu Yi.

After that went to Admiral Bar with Shu Yi and Colin.

Saw Angela there.

Somehow i still feel that she is angry with me.

Well, She is just so hostile.

She came to me with Michelle and Huai Ping and 3 of them keep forcing me to drink out of purpose?

That mindset of hers really freaks me out.

For now, i am just only going to work.

No relationship.

Career Come first.

2009-03-17T01:21:00.001+08:00

As usual.

COCK UP!

I hate Mondays!

Use to love it.

But not now.

2009-03-16T02:26:00.002+08:00

Went to PS with Shu Yi in the afternoon.
Wanted to watch "Hotel for Dogs" initially.
But haven't come out yet.
So we went to The Cathy to see what show is showing now.
We bought the tickets for "Race to the witch mountain".
Have to wait almost 1 1/2 hour for the show to start
So we went to Starbucks to relax.
She taught me how to fold a rose using a tissue paper.
Slacked all the way till the movie starts.
We went to City Chain at Raffles City Shopping Center after the movie.
Bought a watch from French Connection for Ling Wei.
Its her 21st birthday next month.
Then both of us started to look for places to fill our stomach.
But its too late.
All the restaurant have already closed.
So we went to the food court beside DXO.
After finishing everything, I sent her home and went to meet Colin & co.
Slacked for awhile and went back home.

Been watching movie this whole week.
Going out for the whole week.
Going back to work on Tuesday! :)

2009-03-15T13:55:00.002+08:00

Done some reading for the past few days.

Read books from Low Kay Hwa.

Nice books.

Touching stories.

2009-03-14T03:55:00.002+08:00

Went to town with Colin, Lao Gao and E

Watched the movie "Coming Soon".

Stupid people spending money to scare themself.

After that went to heren Soduko to have some snatchs.

Saw Shu Yi as we are going back.

Went to hilltop awhile and went off to woodlands to find Shu Yi to do some catching up.

We chatted about our old times.

Guess we know each other for 6 years le ba?

Yao Ming is the one who approached to know her first at Sun Plaza.

Then Kong Long contacted with her.

But Kong Long found that she is unsuitable for him and he stop contacting her.

She got shocked when i told her Yao Ming is dead for more then a year.

And she sigh when i told her Kong Long is inside.

Chatted with her till 3am and i took a cab home.

Got to contact with so many old friends of mine recently.

Nothing is better then singlehood.

2009-03-13T06:36:00.001+08:00

Money makes the world goes round.

Humans are realistic.

Friendship are lies.

2009-03-12T16:20:00.002+08:00

Well Well,

Can't sleep.

Its usual.

Have to go back to work this weekends.

If not confirm kana pok ler.

Going for a hair cut later on.

I will miss my hair.

2009-03-12T06:43:00.002+08:00

Browsing all the old pics.

I start to wonder,

Where is the old her?

Or is it that I don't even know her that well to be together.

Right now, she becomes my closest stranger.

Someone who were once very close to me.

When i open my eyes, i saw her.

When i close my eyes, i can feel her.

No matter where i go and what i do, she is beside me.

And now, she is someone who don't even know me.

I don't love you anymore.

I don't miss you anymore

Cause, I am not someone who can't live without love.

2009-03-12T06:27:00.002+08:00

Went to geylang.

Called Mei Ling buddy out awhile to talk cock.

Then head back home.

Met up with E and played at my house whole night long.

Since quite some time since i play untill so shiok le.

Since 2nd day of CNY ba?

2009-03-11T19:27:00.002+08:00

Oh ya. Forgot to wish someone about her new happiness.

All the best to you and ur new relationship.

I got shocked that when u are with him and ur post is another guys name.

But i saw u del it away.. So okay..

Good luck.

May that guy really loves you.

2009-03-11T01:34:00.003+08:00

Went to court and got fined $500.

After that went to City Link Mall to get myself a leather shoes from Pedro.

Played two games of bowling and some games before we head for dinner.

Went to PS and walked around while waiting for his gf.

Want to watch "Watch Man" over there but Darick didn't bring IC.

So we went to The Cathy to watch.

The whole show is very boring.

It starts at 9.55pm and end at almost 12.45am.

Slacked around for awhile before we head back home.

This year is not a good year.

I lost everything.

I lost my love one.

I have got no money.

I got nothing now.

2009-03-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

Went to meet E at vivo and watch a "Marley & Me"

Its a very nice and touching show.

My heart turned sour when Marley died.

Tears almost roll down my cheeks.

LOL!

After that went to meet Ah jin & co. to Swissotel Merchant Court to eat buffet.

Jia Jun is going in NS soon and we are treating him a farewell dinner.

Went up to Admiral Bar as usual.

When i reached there, Celeste hold me and say.

"Angela is also here."

I was very shocked.

She came up with kang wei.

Both of them seems very close.

I know i won't feel good seeing both of them together.

I know i won't want to see both of them being together.

But i am holding myself back.

Putting a strong front in front of everyone.

Telling them that its nothing to me.

Telling them that i have already forgotten about her.

But my heart is broken.

I know she doesn't care about me already.

I know she doesn't give a damn about me.

I got a little drunk.

I got crazy,

I played around with Colin and co. to pretend that I don't feel anything about it.

I am hiding it too well to let anyone know that i still loves her.

She went to eat with Kang Wei they all before Kang Wei send her home.

I send E back home and went home straight.

I told Ah Boy and Ah Di that I saw their mummy,

Both of them console me and asked me not to be sad.

They will always be there for me.

Going to court soon!

Because of a trivial matter and i am going to court.

Fuck it.

2009-03-08T04:33:00.002+08:00

WORK HARD!

PLAY HARD!

BUT NEVER LOVE HARD!

2009-03-06T09:19:00.003+08:00

Going out everynight and reaching home at this time is not a good thing.

I have to put a stop to this already.

Seriously, me ain't thinking of her as much as before.

All this while i thought i loved her, i cannot live without her.

But i did it.

Of cause at times i will still think of her when some songs are being played or when i saw somethings that other couples does while me and her also does the some before.

2009-03-05T12:33:00.002+08:00

Just got home and its already afternoon!

Went to hilltop at night and then went to find Darick slack awhile.

Went to meet Joshua they all for supper after Darick went home..

Head to Geylang with Ah jin and "Gu eh" to search for shops to open pub.

So hard to find!

Talked at coffeeshop till around 9 and we head to Ubin temple to pray.

Later meeting E for movie.

No time to sleep.

Going back to work tomorrow. :(

2009-03-03T21:48:00.001+08:00

I am lucky to have friends around me to accompany me thru all storms.

Came to realise that gf ain't forever.

Friends are.

2009-03-03T09:27:00.002+08:00

Everything ain't going smooth this few days.

Got stuck another 5k again.

Can't buy my belt anymore. :(

I am filled with activities this few days.

Kept meeting my buddy Mei Ling and Teck Hui.

And enlarging my circle of girl friends too. LOL!

2009-03-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

All her blog and her brain is about him.

She is thinking about him and I am still so foolish.

SAD!

Went to town just now with Teck Hui and Mei Ling.

Saw Cassan over there.

Bought myself a shirt and aiming for a CK belt.

Going to buy it on tuesday.

Hoots!

2009-03-01T12:58:00.002+08:00

Guess the both of us are drifting more and more apart le ba.

She have got ppl caring for her.

She have got ppl being there for me.

She don't needs me anymore.

She is much more happier without me by her side.

你已经自由了

2009-03-01T04:18:00.002+08:00

I got no idea why i am still worry for you.

I got no idea why whenever i don't see u online i feel like smsing you asking where are you.

But i am holding myself back.

Telling myself i am nobody to you.

Taking that couple tee from you is the only excuse that i can meet you.

I yearn to see you so much.

Even ah boy and ah di wanna see you too.

2009-03-01T03:05:00.002+08:00

Found this song very suitable.

张震岳 - 自由

也许会恨你

我知道我的脾气不是很好

也许不一定

我知道我还是一样爱著你

打开一瓶红色的酒

看著金鱼游来游去

是否我们都想要自由

我没有关系

你可以假装没事离开

这里一切好安静

我只是想把情绪好好压抑

到底谁会先说再见

我知道我一定哭泣

走的时候记得说爱我

爱我说爱我说爱我

难道你不再爱我

我的泪滴下来

你从来不曾看过

为什么为什么

爱情让人变沉重

没有人告诉我

原来不是我想像

不要回来

你已经自由了

我也已经自由了

我没有关系

你可以假装没事离开这里

一切好安静

我只是想把情绪好好压抑

到底谁会先说再见

我知道我一定哭泣

走的时候记得说爱我

爱我说爱我说爱我

难道你不再爱我

我的泪滴下来

你从来不曾看过

为什么为什么

爱情让人变沉重

没有人告诉我

原来不是我想像

不要回来

你已经自由了

我也已经自由了

说爱我说爱我

难道你不再爱我

我的泪滴下来

你从来不曾看过

为什么为什么

爱情让人变沉重

没有人告诉我

原来不是我想像

不要回来

你已经自由了

我也已经自由了

2009-02-28T11:41:00.002+08:00

My mind is full of her no matter what i am doing and where i am.

I just can't shake her off my mind.

I know i can't bear to leave her but its impossible for both of us anymore.

Can someone just help me get out of this misery~?!?!?

2009-02-27T14:10:00.002+08:00

In the end, we became enemies.

I have got no idea why we have end up this way.

Hope things will go better.

2009-02-26T18:15:00.002+08:00

I am glad that i have made that choice.

Cause it makes me see that you are someone who ain't suitable for me.

Going out with guys and knowing more guys is what i totally cannot accept.

I may be in love with you.

But i think sticking this way will be much more better.

I do worry for you.

But at least our status will keep me a distance away from you and preventing me from loving you more.

2009-02-26T16:07:00.003+08:00

Haven't been working for days.

Can't sleep untill the sun come out.

Seems to lost the goal for live.

Someone told me yesterday,

"A anchor is holding you back, you have let go to move on."

I am trying to let go.

2009-02-26T05:16:00.008+08:00

Sleepless night. I hate night time. It makes me feel lonely. Not use to this empty room. But i will get use to it slowly. I will not be so stupid like before, Cause i live for myself.

Viewed our photos from the past. The feeling is really different now, I really missed the old time feeling which can't be found back i think. The old her is gone.Compared to the past she changed alot, so do I. Maybe this is why ppl says time reveals a person's true colour.

After sometime, i came to realise that me and her don't really suit each other. Both of us have different thinking. Me and her are peoples from different world.

2009-02-26T01:02:00.002+08:00

She is not picking up my calls again.

Maybe outside busy enjoying with her friends ba.

I don't wanna live in nightmare.

Things ain't getting any better.

2009-02-25T12:44:00.002+08:00

I just woke up from a nightmare.

When i wake up, it feel so real.

Cause its happening in reality too.

I got a gf in my dream,

We quarrelled and she went back home.

When i called her at 4.30am and ask where is she,

she told me her block downstiars smoking with friends.

I asked her what time going back and she said 7am.

I felt so angry and hung up the phone.

And i woke up.

It sucks.

2009-02-25T01:53:00.003+08:00

I do love you too.

I hate to lose you.

But if ur heart don't have me,

no point being together.

You have too much guys around you and you are not being truthful to me.

That's the reason why i can't trust you that much.

Being together, most important is honesty.

You can't be honest with me then how can I give you my 100% trust?

2009-02-23T02:41:00.000+08:00

Lies after lies.

When will you be truthful with me?

All i wan is the truth.

You understand?

2009-02-23T02:25:00.004+08:00

After my drinking session at hilltop,

i went to 505 to buy cigs.

I told the woman at the counter i wan cig.

She automatic took out Viceroy methol light and Marlboro red.

It makes me think of her again.

But i told her only Marlboro.

She asked me where is my girlfriend.

I smiled at her without saying anything.

I am letting go.

Her heart still got tiger.

I can never replace him in her heart.

I can never take her eyes off him.

2009-02-22T20:43:00.002+08:00

It seems that you still misses those times in CCK.

2009-02-22T14:15:00.002+08:00

Me and her seems to be impossible already.

She is meeting more friends and making more friends.

don't know how to tell you

how much i love you

i don't know how to tell you

how much it hurts when we're apart

i don't know how to tell you

how much you mean to me

i don't know how to tell youthat you have all of my heart

i don't know how to tell you

things i cannot say

i don't know how to tell you

how you make my heart change beats

i don't know how to tell you

how much i think of you each day

i don't know how to tell you

what you mean to me

i don't know how to tell you

because i don't have the right words

i don't know how to tell youy

our joy and pain is mine

i don't know how to tell you

you're my weakness and my strength

i don't know how to tell you

that it can't go on like this

2009-02-22T05:28:00.003+08:00

I am shock that she said she has no body in her heart now.

I am shock that her feelings for me can be faded in such a short while.

Girls are always so cruel.

Leaving guys to suffer alone.

2009-02-21T12:02:00.002+08:00

The whole bed seems to be too big for me to sleep alone.

I am learning to live without her.

Learning to live alone.

All the best to me!

2009-02-21T03:29:00.002+08:00

We are over.

Its the end now.

Guess we won't be back together anymore.

I trusted her.

Just that i dont like to be kept in the dark.

And she is hiding things from me.

The END for both of us.

18/11/08 to 21/02/09

2009-02-20T17:33:00.002+08:00

Yesterday bao bei went out with joyce and came back at 9 to go out celebrate for my mother's birthday. We went to Boat Quay to eat dinner and went to Club Sabai.

There is something which i don't know and i am being kept in the dark.

2009-02-14T17:25:00.003+08:00

When i hugged you just now, asking you if you love me. You took ah di and shook his head. My heart turned sour. Lucky you took ah boy out and said i love you to me. I was happy. When i hugged you tight and kiss your forehead, I wanted to say Sorry. Sorry for making you angry with me. Sorry for wanting to let you go. Sorry for many many things. But those words are stuck in my mouth.

Sorry for making you angry, Sorry for everything that i have done to hurt you.

Now our honeymoon season has finished. Its time to see how's our love for each other. Is our love strong enough to last long?

2009-02-13T04:25:00.000+08:00

She went drinking with her friends. From 2 she say she going home soon. The time now is 4.20am. And she still haven't go back. I am waiting for her to go home and chat on phone with me. I sms her also never reply. Really change le....

2009-02-12T19:51:00.002+08:00

I used to laugh at colin saying he 一文不值。But now, i am the same. *Laughs* Really cannot laugh at other people. I put down all of my pride giving in to her again and again after she scolded me cheapo. I really changed! hahaa.. If 2 years before she scold me i confirm say bye to her. She must be happy right now. Happy that after this, she will be calling the shots le. :(

I am really trying to change, I am trying v hard. But i don't know is it i fail or she did not see. I also don't mind guys call her all that. Is just that don't chat so long and don't hide from me ma.

你在我心里打了死结

绑住孤单在我的世界

2009-02-11T21:09:00.005+08:00

Actually meeting her today. But in the end never. Due to last min jobs are given by Adrian, I will get back home late and can't meet her on time. I asked her to come meet me after my pract and wait for me at home. She remain silent for a min. She asked me to bring her resume to work after my pract. I said ok. After my pract, i got drench due to raining and i asked her what time she is coming over. If its too late then i wait for her at home. She asked me to wait for her at home. At this time, i know she don't wanna come ler. But she is not saying it out. Okay. Then after my work, I asked her wat time she is coming. If she is not coming let me know, i don't wanna be waiting for me outside. I wanna go home and sleep. Then she asked me to go home and sleep. I got fucking fed up. When you are not going to meet me, please don't give me false hope k?

I am always the one keen on meeting. I am always the one who requested to meet. You said i am always stressing you. Ok Fine. I won't ask you to meet anymore untill you asked me. Have you ever notice that slowly, you are going home more and more. Just like last time when we are going to leave. I am prepared for this again and I will learn to live without you by my side. If not, please show me that you need me! Show me that you care for me! I am dumb and i need you to show some action in order to be convince.

I really loves you. And i can't lose you too.

2009-02-10T06:55:00.001+08:00

Missing bao bei alot. I am loving her alot more then before. i think i can't live without her. She is going for reporting later on. Hope can meet her. One day nv see her also can die le. MISS HER ALOT SIA!

2009-02-09T02:01:00.004+08:00

i am really very sad. he still remember alot things about me. he remember i drink beer with straw, he remember i like to eat kinder brueno. i loves him alot. no one will know. coz i am hiding it too well for others to know.

This is what she wrote the other time and this is the bit and pieces that i could remember.

So i will never know have you really forgotten him anot cause you are hiding it too well for others to know. And you wrote this when you are still with me.

2009-02-09T01:50:00.003+08:00

I asked you if you still like him anot. You said no. I told you some of the reason which makes me thinks that you still have feelings for him. You cried and said " can you stop thinking wild? Its irriating.". You said it urself that you will hide your feelings for him well. Well enough to hide it from everyone. You once took me and compare with him. You said that he would never leave you alone. He asked you to write the song lyrics "would you be there" for him. And now ur blog tittle is Would You be there. As for the song "She bu de" and "Ni Bu Zai". Last time before he came out. There was once i was hugging you, the com is playing the song "She Bu De" you were singing it while i am hugging you. I can feel that you are singing with saddness. You are refering to him(I know you will say i am thinking wild again but well, that's my sixth sense). The song "Ni Bu Zai" its says,< 你不在，当我最需要爱> I am always here by you. Its also a sad song. I heard this song over and over again being played by you in the afternoon. I was being neglect by you already. Having nothing to do. Lying alone on the bed. Asked you to accompany me, you rejected.

Haven't you notice? We ain't talking to each other this few days. If i never read your blog all this, I don't even know what you are thinking. Pass few days you were at home. Untill fri then you came over at night. Once you reach my house, you started playing com after awhile and i fall asleep. You woke me up during 3am and ask me to have dinner with you. Then you used com again. All the way till morning i guess? Then you came beside me and sleep. Then i went for work early in the morning on sat.

When i am back on sat, we went to hilltop and i told u i very tired all this and i wanna go home at 12. we quarrel then i go home first, and you came back later on. Same thing again, we watch TV till 3 and i heat up the dinner for you. After eating, you started to use com again. I woke up at 5am to ask you to sleep you said ok ok. Then i woke up at 7am to ask you to sleep then you willing to off the com. Just now we wake up at 1 plus in the afternoon. You started using com again awhile after you wake up and I was by the side idling and i fall asleep again all the way untill 8 plus 9. You woke me up to have dinner with you. After that we watch tv for awhile and we get back to the room. You used the com again and i was idling away again and fall asleep again.

Now tell me. Are you neglecting me? How will i feel? Computers, blog shops all this are more important?

2009-02-08T23:39:00.003+08:00

Playing com is all you did. No matter if i am there beside you anot. You can leave me all alone and sit in front of com for hours. Chatting with your friends, surfing the net is what you can do when you are at home or when i am at work. I need you to talk to me, to accomapny me. Not to just be by my side, letting me looking at you using the com. Awaiting for you to use finish and fall asleep while waiting. I am very sick and tired of this. You don't know what i want. You gave me a feeling that you don't need me at all. Or maybe you really dun need me anymore. Should i learn to let go? We are slowly drifting apart. Slowly.. she will be gone...

2009-02-08T21:02:00.002+08:00

Tiger called her that day to ask her if got ice de lobang anot. Then she step one dun care about him. But she still got ask for him. She say till so nice nv think about him le. All this and that. But then who knows? Right?

Everytime got ppl msg her then she will ask the person not to msg her cause she is with me. Then everytime she go home, she keep on contact with guys. Si bei angry sia. It seems that she is hiding something from me. Don't let me know all that. Hai. Del away sms all that. Make me si bei angry. "Gui Gui Shui Shui de"!

2009-02-08T13:28:00.002+08:00

Woke up quite early today. But keep on forcing myself to sleep cause i wanna wake up almos the same time as bao bei. Don't wan to wait so long for her to wake up. But now i cannot sleep anymore, if not tonight i can't sleep early for tml's work le. Bao bei really dunno how to zhi dong. Very angry with her lor. I ytd woke up half way at 5am asking her to sleep she say ok ok. Then around 7 i woke up, she is still using com. Making me scold her then she willing to sleep. She really don't know what i am doing lor. Irriating. I only get to off once a week. Wanted to go out with you once a week. And if you wake up late, we don't need to go anywhere le lor.

2009-02-08T01:13:00.003+08:00

Pcb. Fucking angry. I already told her i very tired le. wanna go back le. Then she say wanna sing 1 song with colin before go back. I say ok. Then 1 song le i jio her sing another song and intending to go back le. She go jio other ppl sing song. I abit fed up le. I asked her wanna go home or stay here. She say if tired then go home lor. I then say stay awhile more ba. Before that i already ask her to sit in room liao. Coz i can see she wanna sit in room. I totally no mood to sit inside room and have fun with them. Coz i too tired liao. Then i sleep at the room lor. Sleep till v pek chek sia. Very cold and they keep touching till me. Sleep wake up sleep wake up. Then i si bei tu lan liao. I ask her song come already anot. She say haven't, Also dunno she put how many song. Then i si bei tu lan i go off first. When i reach below of the hill, I called her and ask if she sing finish already anot. She say You go home first lor, I still singing song. Haven't sing finish. I listen liao. Zi Tao tu lan. I scold her straight away. WTF. You came out with me then i already told you i am going back early le. You say ok. Drink finish go back. Then sing 1 song go back. Then now like that.
ZZZ. FED UP!

2009-02-05T18:56:00.002+08:00

Promise bao bei not to gamble anymore. I had no idea if she know i lose so much anot. But what i know is i am feeling v lost right now. Si bei sian liao. I am just hoping for someone to be beside me and pei me. That's all. But she keep dun wan meet me all that. Say wan help me save money and all those bullshit..

Ytd went to hilltop alone, then saw ah jin there. After that saw colin they all. I was drunk. LOL! Cynthia they all say i sing nice. After that colin send me home. I went to bath and vomit. I vomit BLOOD again....

2009-02-04T20:51:00.002+08:00

Sian. Lost 2k in less then 1/2 hour. Last few week lose 5k. Owe boss alot money le. And yet still must buy this buy there give bao bei. Si bei jia lat.. HOW! WHAT TO DO! SI BEI FAN!

I saw from her blog which is not published. Tiger asked her to write "Would You Be There" lyrics for him. And her blog tittle is would you be there. Her msn personal message also Would You Be There. I really cannot take it when i know this. I gave her all my heart. I tried to give her everything she want. And yet her heart is not 100% mine. I am nt telling her that i lost money is because she won't help me and when we quarrel she confirm will use this to shoot at me de.

There is no one that i can turn to. No one to help me. I am all by myself. I feel so lost. I feel so confuse. Should i let her go? I don't want her to suffer with me. Being with me will only suffer......

2009-02-04T01:14:00.002+08:00

When i woke up today, I can't see my bao bei. I feel panic. Cause i remember that she went for reporting and she say will come back after that. I search my house looking for her. And i can't see her. Feel so sad. I think i really can't live without her le.

2009-01-30T00:50:00.002+08:00

Quarrelling almost everyday.

How long more can we last?

Or should i say. How long more can she tolerate with me?

2009-01-28T08:54:00.004+08:00

Bao bei got msg with boys again. That day i saw she got msg with xiao long. But she del away the sent items and inbox. Today i saw got kingsley, kang wei+ CCK and kent 87. She dels away kent and kang wei's sms. Leaving only kingsley's inside. :(

He'd never throw me alone all by myself .. Hate my life now . Untill now, she is still thinking of tiger. Sad! But what i wan to say is, Sorry. I tried asking you to go in de. But you don't want. I asked you to play the com. You use only for awhile. I won't throw you alone all by urself anymore. *Promise*

2009-01-27T07:58:00.003+08:00

Didn't get to sleep on Sunday night and i went for lion dance early in the morning on monday. After the lion dance, I was very shag already. Bao bei seems to be angry with me for not being able to make it to her ah ma house. So i went down to find her. When i asked her if she is angry with me anot. She said "got you or no you also same. I will be doing the same thing. If you don't wanna come you can don't come de." I was very disappointed. Despite that i have just finish lion dancing, was very tired. I still make the effort to go down. And i got this type of treatment from her.

In her blog, she say its her turn to fade. Is she referring about her feelings to me? How long more can we last? I know i can't survive without her. She has become another half of my life. I even thought of marrying her a few years later. I really don't wish to lose her... :(

2009-01-23T15:22:00.003+08:00

I am always the unreasonable one. I am always the ridiculous one. Everytime when i am angry with you. It always turn out that i am in the wrong and you are angry with me. There will never be once that you won't be angry with me when i am angry with you.

FUCK IT. Hate things to turn out this way.

2009-01-23T04:13:00.002+08:00

Bao bei is not being frank with me. She got del away SMS from guys. She did reply sms to guys to. But she del away liao. Not letting me know. She think i don't know... I nv say out only. She del away girls from my msn too. Still say trust me... All also lies... Don't know when then i can hear the truth from her. She told me so loves me. Bt i am still wonder if its real anot. She can be with other guys for months while waiting for tiger. Telling them she loves them when she doesn't at all.

Which of your words are the truth? o.o

2009-01-22T06:26:00.002+08:00

One thing i don't like is everytime see guys add her in msn or friendster de. Then those guys will ask her for number all that. She see girl add her she seldom approve. Guy confirm approve de. No matter she know them anot. Then everytime so friendly with them. Send testi to them say thanks for adding all that. ANGRY SIA! Ask her to post our pic in her friendster to show others that she got me le. But then she keep on saying our pic not nice. We took so many pics together. None of them is nice. I wonder which one then nice lor. Hai. She know that i get jealous easily and yet she keep on like that. I admit that i am possessive. But i am trying my best not to control her too much le. If only she could be more "zhi dong" abit....

2009-01-22T06:02:00.002+08:00

Went to SK to find bao bei in the afternoon cause she did not pick up my call whole day. Bought chocolates for her. Put it at her house door, pressed the door bell and run off. She called me and asked me to go up to her place. Stayed at her house till 7 plus in the evening then head back to sembawang.

Met ah wei and slacked at 334 with him. After that went up to his house to play cards awhile while waiting for yong ren to come back. Won $10. But lost in mahjong after that. So sad.

Headed home after that. When i open my door, my house is filled with burning smell. I run to the kitchen and mummy left the fire on and sleep in the living room. I turn off the gas stove and woke her up to scold her. If i came home 1 hour later, the whole apartment will be burnt.

I realised that i am loving bao bei more and more each day. Can't even leave her for 1 day. Hoping to see her everyday.

2009-01-21T06:45:00.001+08:00

Quarrelled with bao bei just now. Tried controlling my temper le. But in the end i failed. I must try harder next time.

So sad. Made bao bei angry with me again.

2009-01-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

I may seem to be a fool to you or should i say you make me feel that i look like a fool to you? If this goes on, I don't think we will be going to last long. I seems to be always the one giving in to you. Tears always roll down my cheeks after we quarrel. Me and Ting Ting really nothing de ma. You are obiviously jealous and yet you are pretending not jealous and giving me cold shoulder. To me, I just couldn't help it but to feel that in your heart you still have him cause when we are together, you yourself wrote on a piece of paper that you still love him alot. You are hiding it too well for other ppl to know. Untill now, i still can't take this off my head. You said before you will make you bf feel secure. But i ain't feeling secure at all. I admit that i am controlling you too much. But you should know that I did all this all out of love.

I hate this feeling. The feeling that i am worthless to you. PLEASE MAKE ME FEEL THAT I MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU ALRIGHT?

2009-01-19T13:30:00.002+08:00

2 months is how long we are offically together. We sure have gone thru a number of things together. But our love are still standing strong. She seems to be the only one who can stand my attitude and tolerate it. I have no idea how long we can last but i am cherishing every single moment we are together.

I am someone not very good in expressing how i feel and what i want. And when i can't get what i want, i will throw my temper around. Sorry for letting you to endure all this. I will change.

2009-01-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

Spending money like water.. :(

2009-01-11T16:26:00.003+08:00

To you, am i such a cock up person to squeeze my friend into a small room with strangers which they don't know?
To you, am i such a person that will do such a thing? Which won't do me any good?
Tell me. What do i gain when you and her quarrel? What do i gain?
Its normal for them to misunderstood me. But even you misunderstood me as well.
I have got nothing to say. You are the one who sleep beside me everynight. I was hoping that you would understand me. Know how i feel, how i think and how i organize everything.

Disappointed

2009-01-10T15:15:00.002+08:00

Looks like I am always the one who wanted to meet. Can you at least make me feel that you care for me and this relationship? SHOW IT! Show me that you need me. Show me that you care for me. Show me that you love me!

You always have things to vex for. And you are keeping them into your heart. I have told you million times that i am always here. Always by your side. Awaiting for you to share your problems with me. Only when we quarrel then i come to know what you have got things to vex for. Hello! I am your bf. I am here to share your problems together. I know i can't settle ALL of your problems. But i will try to settle as much as i could.

You know i can't survive without you. You know i really love you. You promised not to break my break again and not to leave me. And i still believe that you won't break that promises.

2009-01-10T14:59:00.003+08:00

Who can understand how i feel?
Who know how i feel?
Who know what i want?
And do I really want it that way?

2009-01-09T11:13:00.003+08:00

Finally back from the 4 days Chalet. Happy Birthday to my DEAR Angela Lin Hui Yin! Happy 21st Birthday. Although this chalet is not a very good one. But i believe you saw the true colour of your bestie.

4 days 3 night at that chalet is a boredom. We can only drink, BBQ, watch tv, blackjack, mahjong and sleep there. But the scenery there is very romantic. When i got money, I going to book there again. This time round, only me and bao bei. I confirm will make use of that scenery there and make it a romantic chalet. :)

Well, alot of things didn't go according to plan. But then we did overcome it. this chalet cost me a bomb! Making me have to stay at home for the next few days untill money comes again.

Bao Bei, I can't afford to lose you and hope our love can last forever! :)

2009-01-04T09:21:00.001+08:00

Quarreled with bao bei on 30th. Went down to YCK to find her cause she go there to urine. Then nearly broke up.

2008-12-30T10:35:00.004+08:00

You said you will only make your boyfriend feel secure. But why ain't i feeling secure? When i was out for motor pract, for that few hours only. How many guys you exchanged number with? How many fucking guys you chat with?

2008-12-29T03:36:00.001+08:00

Somehow, I feel that i need to upgrade myself. Keep on learning new stuff. I can't live this way forever. With this kind of lifestyle. I need to do something about it.

2008-12-27T05:36:00.001+08:00

There is a cause for everything that happen. Don't jump to conclusion. Confront me. Ask me. Don't pretend that nothing had happened. You won't feel good. Neither do I.

2008-12-24T17:00:00.003+08:00

Yay! Bought a new com yesterday. It cost a big hole in my pocket. Fuck! My money is finishing soon.

This few days i got no idea why i kept throwing my temper around. Almost everyday have stupid quarrels with her. But i am trying my house to give in le. Trying to give her everything she want. But she will never understand how i feel. Have you ever wonder how come my temper will change? And since when my temper become so bad? Do some serious thinking.

I know you need time to heal. I need time to forget that incident too. You made me feel really insecure. And that promise, you made it less then a month ago.

2008-12-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

I thought I was happy. Happy enough to fly up high. High enough to reach the sky. But when i was reaching the sky, i fell down to the bottom. I thought i have got her heart. But i was too naive. Blind enough not to see anything. Stupid enough to believe that she really loves me. Got so much plan for the future. Promised not to break my heart again. I am on the verge, falling down soon. Getting prepared for another heartache... I may seem to be strong. But i am not. I do break down. I do have feelings too. Sorry. I think i did not try hard enough to make you to love me whole heartedly.

2008-12-09T07:38:00.003+08:00

Didn't get to blog for quite few days. Thanks to my brother for pouring water on my cpu "accidentally"! Ok. Erm...

On Sunday morning, didn't get to "chu shi" as planned. Cause i overslept! Was playing cards with mummy, bro and my BAO BEI! Lost 30+. :( Then we cooked supper to eat. Only get to have some sleep at 7am. Planning to wake up at 8.30 but failed. So i did nt go. When i woke up in the evening, i met Xiao Jason for dinner. So 3 of us went to 795 to eat. We head to Xiao Jason's house to use com awhile. Need to go online to check something. I saw her chatting with vinc and the moment i came into the room from living room, she closed the chat window immediately. I was very curious. Vinc replied her and she said "Must help me k? I gtg le. Bye =)" I asked her what is it that she need his help. She said nothing. I hate ppl hiding things from me lor! So i just walked off. Asking her not to sign out and asked her to continue chatting. She followed me out of the room. Then we walked to Sun Plaza to meet Celeste and darick. I was ignoring her all the way. Showing her a stupid face. Giving her attitude. But in my heart, I was hoping that she will come to me and pamper me. AND OF CAUSE! Telling me what is it that she need his help. Was sitting outside MOS Burger waiting for Ah Jin & Co. to finish lion dancing cause we are heading to Admiral Bar to celebrate Ah Jin's birthday. I saw her making a call and after awhile, she asked me for my house key. She said she is going home that night. I knew she was angry with me. But she didn't show it out. She only gave me a stupid face and acting "dao" with me too. I gave her the key and she go home take her house key. Waited till 12 plus in the midnight and they are finally ready! Went up and opened 2 bottle of martell. As usual, On The Rock will be my drink. :) Maybe i wasn't in good mood. And that's why a few cup of On The Rock makes me feel tipsy already. I jioed Ah Keong to blow 5secs. LOL! I was prepared to go vomit after blowing that 5secs. But i didn't! Keep playing 5 10 with bekah. She was very lucky. Lost a few round in a row and i cannot take it. Went to be Singapore's trademark (Merlion). Its 3am in the morning and Admiral Bar is closed. So the rest of us went to 505 to continue our drinking session. We started off with 4 bottle of Henieken. I keep asking keong to "Ta". He keep say cannot cannot. Then i keep on "ta" in front of him. And i say his "lam pa ji" put at home. I was very drunk already. Then another 4 bottle come to my table, followed by another few bottles. And everytime the beer is finished. There will be someone to go and buy and come back let us drink. LOL! Then i really cannot le. I go toilet to attend to the nature's call. I was walking like a snake. I can't even stand straight. Fell down outside the toilet. But lucky, Yong ren was there to help me. They keep asking me to go home. Around 4 plus, Colin and Yong Ren sent me home. But I didn't want to. Cause i am sleeping alone. Without her by my side. So we sat under our block. Colin called the rest to come over. They came over with a few more bottle of beer as well! LOL! My whole world is already spinning. Fell down from chair quite a few times. :( Around 5 plus they sent me till my house. I was like keep falling down! And they put me down on my bed.

I woke up around 11 plus in the morning. Tastes of blood filled my mouth and blue blacks on my hand. I asked my brother. My brother told me that i vomited blood! I was so shock! LOL! First time drink till vomit blood! Went to meet Colin & Co. and they told me I fell down straight and landed on my face.

Didn't get to meet Bao bei as planned. We actually planned to go east coast. But didn't go in the end. I was busy with my stuff cause its Monday! I asked her to meet me. But she is sicked. She wants to stay at home to rest for another day. Okay then. She say will meet me today later at night. So I went to slack with Yong Ren, Bekah and Jia Jun. Colin they all went to Admiral Bar again! I am sick of going there almost everyday so the 4 of us did not go. We slacked at Sun Plaza till 3 and we head to Yong Ren house to play mahjong. Such a boring day.

My bao bei ain't by my side. She doesn't like to go out with my friends. She says that its boring going out with them cause no one talks with her. But everytime she goes out with me and my friend, she keep on giving a fierce look. Who will want to talk with her much? She says she won't smile to those girls. Cause they are not my friend's girlfriends. They are just girls who hang out with us. I don't see any difference. They are my friends too. I can hang out with your friends, why can't you hang out with my friends too? Most of your friends are male, I still can mix with them. But why can't you mix with my friends too? Everytime you are out with me and my friends, you are always not talking. You only play around with your phone. Sms-ing with some friends of yours. :) I am not rushing you. I am giving you time to mix with them. I am creating opportunities for you to mix with them. But you are rejecting most of the time. I even tried asking your gang and my gang to come out once. But you said its weird. So in the end never.

Bao Bei, try to mix around with Colin & co. k? I am doing this so that in future if you go out with me and my friends, you won't be that boring anymore le. :) I am not rushing you to mix with them straightaway. I will give you time de. :)

2008-12-03T16:13:00.003+08:00

你现在和我在一起了。但是你心里还是想着他。应为他不想和你在一起所以你再和我在一起的吗？如果他叫你等他，你就会等。那么你把我当什么？后备轮胎？你说你是爱我的。可以每次我看到你的blog就是关于他，和以前一样。不然就是写着伤心事。跟我在一起很伤心吗？一点都不快乐吗？我为你付出的，你都没看到吗？你还感觉不到我对你的爱吗？

2008-12-03T05:22:00.002+08:00

你是我这一生最爱的女人.也希望你是我这一生最后一个女人. 也许我做了一些令你失望的事.可是你要相信我的心中只有你一个.我和她真的没有你想象中的那种关系.我知道这是我们的最后一次机会.我也知道如果这一次我们分开了是不可能会在一起回了. 相信我.我不会让你失望了. 虽然我不能给你 luxury 和 diamond 但是我能给的是金钱买不到的,那就是我的心. 我已经完完全全把我的心交给你了.希望你不会对爱说无所谓.

我爱你!

2008-12-01T19:38:00.002+08:00

Sms kept in your phone are sms that can be seen by me.
But what happened to those sms that you deleted in purpose?

2008-12-01T04:52:00.001+08:00

Slacked at home whole day. After dinner i got really sicked staying at home so went to Sun Plaza to slack awhile. After that went to Golden Mile thai disco to drink with kenneth and one of his friend. Bao bei and i don't feel like going de. But kenneth keep on asking me to go. So i asked bao bei to go along as well. LoL. Then Bao bei is drunk. Came back home straight away go to bed and sleep le. :D

You are earning my trust more and more each day. And i am loving u more and more each day.

Love you bao bei. :)

2008-11-30T00:00:00.002+08:00

一天比一天的更爱你。：）

2008-11-29T00:19:00.002+08:00

Worked at IT show just now. Saw Jackie, Sir Lewis, Sir Sukaimi, Joshua and a few more. Sir Lewis is studying at SIM now. So Envy! Can study after ORD. Continue taking pocket money from parents. Sir Sukaimi and me had a small chat. He is our CDA's Mr Fit and Our Running Devil who never say die. LOL! Joshua came with his ex wife to buy GPS and graphic card. Jackie is working as executive in Toshiba. Saw a ex camp mate of mine now working as sending goods. Saw a pri sch mate too. Accompany his mother come walk around. I saw all of them and i look at myself. They are all having a goal in their life and i am still idling around, not having a stable job nor studies.

SUCH A FAILURE!

2008-11-28T02:26:00.002+08:00

你跟说你不喜欢min yi.我就没有和她联络了。但你能不能将心比心？你也明明知道我不喜欢他，可是你还和他联络？我生气你，后来变成很像是我很无理。变成你生我的气。我不说为什么我生你的气是应为我希望你会自动一点。我已经没有和她联络了。希望你会懂该做什么。

2008-11-26T14:40:00.003+08:00

Posted 11/26/2008 2:19 am
sia la . patch up wit ur X ar! u still forgive him ar! power sia u?

我做错了什么？! 为什么她的朋友会这样说？她到底和别人说了什么？为什么现在的我感觉上好像矢了恋的感觉？并没有在恋爱的感觉。你的身边太多男人了，弄到我一点安全感都没有。。。

昨晚,我明明就叫你早一点睡.可是你拖到早上才睡.今天,我们一定去不了我们要去的地方了.

2008-11-26T02:20:00.013+08:00

我不知道我们会维持多久。她的心里有另一个人。我并没有完全霸占了她的心。过了那么久，我们还是一样。我还是不能完全得到你的心。现在的我也只能过一天是一天了，除非真的有一天我能够得到她的心。

我们只能靠彼此的blog才会了解我们彼此的感觉。你有说不出话而我也有话不像面对面跟你说。所以我们要靠blog来沟通.我很希望你什么都能和我一起分享. 我是你的男朋友,有这个责任来跟你一起分享一切.而我不是一个善于表达我感觉的一个人.我只需要一个地方好让我说出我的烦恼就够了,然后我就会忘记一切.:)

她可能会去MOS打工,应为她不想失去她的好朋友.而我的工作是白天的.如果她真的成功去MOS打工的话,我们将会慢慢的疏远.也有可能会应为这样而一拍两散.这个时候就是她要在两者之间选一个了. 我对她说过我可以让她做太太,可是她不让我做我要做的东西.

老天在玩弄人啊!

她是否会守住她对我的承诺?

Things always don't go according to plan. :(

2008-11-25T00:57:00.006+08:00

我要上山顶的原因不只是要喝酒。我只是在拿我和他来做比较。你可以陪他和他的朋友出去。但是，你不能陪我和我的朋友吗？他算什么？为什么你对他和对我不一样？我知道我很离谱，很幼稚。对不起。我太爱你了。爱到一个普通人是无法了解的地步。这个爱能够让我为了你放弃与牺牲一切。我不知道你到底爱不爱我。还是爱的够不够深。有时候，你让我拥有整个世界。但是有时候，你让我一无所有。你口口声声说爱我，但是你心里是不是这样想我就不知了。。。

Some words of advice from Larry... Noted and Thanks my friend. :)

2008-11-24T16:56:00.002+08:00

我可以永远笑着扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱

忘了就好

2008-11-24T15:49:00.004+08:00

Bao bei ain't meeting me today AGAIN! 3rd day le. Everyday our sms is getting more and more dry. Somehow the stupid feeling is back, a very familiar feeling which I used to feel in the past. She is still thinking of him. I thought she is moving on. She told me that she is moving on and memories are fading. But things ain't the same. Everything is the same as the past and i am afraid that the ending will be the same

Slowly, we are drifting apart and i am acting blur. I knew this day will come but I never expect it to come so soon. I was hoping it to come a bit later. At least we will have sometime to create some happy moments together before having this feelings. I have got no idea how long we will be going on like this. I don't know will we get better. But there seems to be a barrier between me and her. She told me that she loves me. But i can't feel it. She promised me not to break my heart again. But i am starting to doubt it.

On sat, she said she wanted to go home bring more shirts to my house so she went back to sleep on sat. On Sun, Jolyn's last night outside playing before starting work. So she wanted to slack with her outside for the last night. But end up, Jolyn went to geylang and she headed home straight. Today, She wanted to go home and ask her father regarding something.

I know you ain't feeling good inside your heart and i gave you the freedom to choose where you wanna go tonight. And i am hoping at the same time, you can use tonight to tidy up your feelings.

Will i still able to meet her tml? When will we get better? Does she really love me? Will she keep to her promise for not breaking my heart again?

我可以永远笑着扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱
忘了就好

2008-11-23T05:26:00.003+08:00

I am sleeping alone for tonight and tomorrow night. Tonight i sleep alone is because she is going home to take her clothes. Then just now she sms me say she tml wanna meet jolyn slack. Then i also ok lor. Since jolyn is going to start work on Monday le. Something happen again. Her blog and her friendster shoutout. What is she refering to?

She promised not to break my heart again. Heehee. ^^

2008-11-21T17:53:00.003+08:00

在爱情路上，并没有谁爱谁比较多。却只有为谁付出的最多。在于你和她的身上，相信都已经知道我对你付出的爱是永恒。

She was never a person that has been placed in my heart at all. Although you said that you were never angry about what had happen before being back with me, i can feel the strain of anger and unhappiness in you. I don't know how to explain to you face to face, so i decided to voice out here. So here's my explanation to you.

She keep insisting that i'm her boyfriend when i am not. I've never asked for her hand before. Neither i seek for her love. I felt remorseful. She was there to accompany me when i was low. "He" was your companion too when you need someone too. You're the only one I'm thinking about all the while. And my heart was occupied fully by you to have insufficient space for another. Let's forget about the past and move on happily together ba. :)